Moment of Lie

“I love you”

“So do I.”

“You don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t have done this to me”

“How can you forget Shekhar, it was the first thing I said when we started the relationship. I won’t go against the wish of my parents. I told you right?”

“It is disturbing how your stand on that has not changed despite everything that we have done together and everything that has happened between us. It doesn't matter? Tell me frankly Shruti, am I a joke to you? What were you doing ALL this while? Passing your time? Entertaining yourself? What the hell did I do wrong?”

“MY DAD IS SICK GODDAMMIT! FOR GOD’S SAKE TRY TO UNDERSTAND! Will you?”

“He is sick because your brother Mr. moron was marrying some salesgirl he knew for a month. Even I would have gotten a heart attack if my son did something like that. It was not love sweetheart. Ours is. It will be different in our case. And how do you know that your dad is not feigning it? He was discharged 6 hours after he was admitted! How do you not see that he is just trying to defend his nonsensical stand against love marriage? And you are supporting it?”

“Enough! Enough Shekhar. Stop accusing my family members. Don’t you ever talk to me like that again, got it?” Some tears trickled down.

“Please Shruti, I am begging of you, please. I have plans, they are all for you; I have my company's project in US. Fifteen months, and I will come and take your hand. I will earn more than your father has ever dreamt of in a son-in-law. Please.”
For two hours the armrests were bearing the sweat of his palms.

“Please leave Shekhar. Try to understand. Between you and my father, I choose him. Is it so unfair?”

“At least try. We will cross the bridge when we reach there, at least stay with me till then. You can’t leave me like this.” No response. Some momentous moments passed.

Desperation morphed to anger “I am leaving. Just want you to know, that for two years, I had my life around you. Everything. I love you more than you will ever love me. Goodbye Shruti. Never show your goddamn face to me again”

“Shekhar I am sorry, and I love you, but I just can’t do this to my dad. Just wish that someday you will understand.” She was softening down now.

Too late. “I won't.”

He went to US and came back to India.

It has been 4 years now.

She has survived them.

----------------------------------

“Hey any plans for this holi?” asked Trisha.

“Why do you have to ask this question all the time when you know the only person who makes plans for me is you? So let me ask YOU now, what plans for holi?” said Shruti. Trisha was just about everybody she knew in Delhi.

“True", she laughed. Well this holi, you will get a big surprise! We will go to the GK-2 community center. Joshi uncle has invited us to the Holi celebrations. There will be a DJ, thandai, and lots of nice guys for you to choose from. And there you will get your surprise!”

“Okay mam. I am all yours.”

Holi came.

Shruti got ready. Trisha will meet her there, as planned. So she went there, all by herself.

The place looked like a nightclub in broad daylight. Music, mob and colors, all there. There were people all around, dancing. There were stalls of thandai, food, and ghujiyas. Just as she entered, a kid emptied his state of the art pichkari at her. She went completely blind for a few seconds, somehow managing to open her eyes. Then somebody painted her with gulaal. It was all fun. And she had started to enjoy herself, looking around for her friend.

And then she saw him. Standing tall, with added weight, face painted red, and still the same childish look she used to die for. Was it he? Had she FINALLY found him? Can she be so lucky?”

It was him. Indeed. She could find him in a mob, any day, anywhere. Both the Holis they spent together. The street fairs they will go to and get lost in. Yes, it was him.

She went ahead, and plastered her somewhat colored hands on his face.
He turned, and both of them stared at each other for moments.

“Hi Shekhar!” She mumbled, gasping for breath. He replied with a cold “Hi”, though the eyes deceived him.

“How are you? Such a long time! How was US? Where are you now? You gained weight yaar!” She stopped hiding her happiness.

He was apathetic though. “Well everything was and is fine, how are you?” he said in as cold a voice as he could manage.

She paused for a moment.

“Are you still angry Shekhar? After all these years, you are still angry? You still haven’t understood” she now wanted to cry.

He stood mute. Seconds passed.

“Hi Shruti, and hello my dear." Trisha had come back. "Well Shruti meet Shekhar my fiancé, and Shekhar this is Shruti my sweetest dearest and cutest friend. And this, Mam Shruti, is the surprise. Liked it? Well you have to, my dad chose him from at least 5000 men", she said laughing.

Shruti’s tears got lost somewhere in the color. She managed to laugh and congratulate her. And when their eyes met, Shekhar could see her soul burning.
Trisha excused herself to meet someone else.

“Congrats!”, she was actually smiling. "I mean I am so happy for you!"

“No you are not. I can see it on your face. But I guess I don't care. You were never happy for me.”

“Shekhar, stop being so cruel. We met after 4 years. Can you be a bit nice to me."

"How about no?"

She turned around and left.

Trisha arrived. "What did you do?".

"Nothing, I was just playing rude".

"I told you not to!"

"She will be fine"

"No she will not be fine. Her dad has been dead four years Shekhar. She was fired. She spends her life finding jobs. She will not take it."

They tried finding her but couldn't. Three hours later they arrived at her doorstep. The apartment was locked from inside. After waiting for half an hour the door was knocked down. She was lying face down on the floor, vomit spewed around, a bottle of mosquito repellant not too far away. She was still breathing.

Six hours later in the hospital her eyelids moved. Shekhar was allowed to meet.

“Shruti listen to me please. I found Trisha from your profile. We set this up. We are not engaged. It was a prank. Sorry it got so cruel. Shruti I am sorry. Listen to me”

“I just wanted you back in my life. I came back for you. I would have come sooner if I knew about you. I still love you”

The sentences were too long.

Her eyelids had closed. The ECG was beeping faster every second. Nurses rushed in.

“I am sorry, she came in too late” said the doctor.

“Shruti, I still love you.”

Lucky Day

-->

It had been a long time now since he was struggling, must have been at least 10 minutes.

He had always been a loser. An underperformer. Always abiding by the rules set by Mother. Never deviating from the set routes. All his peers knew all the best places. He didn’t. It was not that he didn’t have the courage. But aberration from Mother’s path was blasphemy for him. Go straight was his mantra. Go straight.

Not today. Today he had decided on this infraction and right from the first hint of dawn, he had been wandering. He knew the day was different. The day had been superb, and productive. The flowers were all beautiful. And it had been a dream run. He was feeling so lucky.

Maybe he pushed his luck too far. He went away farther than ever. Not until he reached that obscure place with the lilies, which was right there at the top of the list of proscribed places, did he stop, or rather was stopped.

He first attacked the lilies. As he moved towards them, he saw a sort of cave to his right. Inside, a bunch of daffodils caught his glimpse. Should he go there? Why not! It was his day. So he went there. The flowers were so fresh. He circled the bunch euphorically, disbelief in his eyes. He had no sense of direction.

When satiated, he decided to leave. But wait, he was in a cave right? Which way was the opening? Which way did he enter from? Fear crept through. Suddenly there was a huge gust which threw him far away. As he gained focus again, he looked towards the direction from which light was coming. And then he saw the lilies again. He rushed towards them, with all his might, already terrified, and suddenly there it was. Bam! He was stopped by some strange invisible wall. His head went tizzy. And what the hell was happening? Right there in front of him there were the lilies. But he just couldn’t move forward.

He had to get out. So he tried to improvise. He moved back and rammed into the strange obstacle again. Too strong. He backed up again, about three feet. In front of him there was a grid of openings. Behind him, everything was dark. He moved to one “opening”, this time cautiously. Again the same invisible barrier. Befuddled, he rammed into a few more. The entire grid looked the same. He felt as if dreaming. But he knew it was reality. He had heard stories, and now he was part of his nightmare.

The next few moments were spent lamenting and repenting. He could have stopped at the rose garden. He could have stopped when he felt the heat of the noon sun waning. He could have just been to the lilies. But when you feel lucky, the only thing that stops your flight is an accident. An accident which brings you back to earth, back to your senses. Most dream runs often end in crashes. Because restraint is the first thing you lose when you gain luck. He could have forgotten the daffodils, but no, it was his day!

Remorse was not the cure though. It never is. So he gathered his strength and moved back one more time. He looked at all the openings. He had examined only a few. He wished God for just one more ounce of good luck.

Suddenly, on the right a long distance away he saw a bigger opening. Should he go there? Should he try that way? It was too far away. Again, he wanted to go far away.

He remembered all that he had been told by Mother. "Never lose sight of your goals. Accomplishments don’t come in gift wraps. You have to earn them. You will make mistakes. But you yourself will have to get out of that. There will always be obstacles. At first all will seem as if impossible to cross, but impossible is nothing. Sooner or later, it will be defeated. And yes there will always be shortcuts, paths that will seem to end your misery in a blink. But never fall for them. When you have your goals at your crosshair, proceed towards them no matter what. Go straight boy, go straight".

He looked at the lilies again, and knew what he had to do. He had to keep trying. That big opening sure seemed attractive. Maybe it will take him to his freedom. But he knew that was just another specious detour to more danger. He had already pushed his luck far enough. No more. He will break this wall for whatever it takes. Maybe he will find his ounce of luck now.

He kept ramming into the glass for the next one hour. Was it his penance?

A bright white light flooded the room.

SQQQQUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

"Hey mom, I killed a bee! It was stuck at the window for so long now! It won’t let me sleep. I even tried the fan. Wonder why they don’t just fly out through the door."

“They don’t see the door honey. They are just too small.”

“Son, will you please throw that thing into the garden for me?”

“Sure mom.”

Before closing his eyes for the final time, he found himself lying at the foot of the lily.